Thursday, October 12, 2006

Little Things. . .

It's the little things that make my day. It was a cold day today. The first real cold day we've had. It was like 30 degrees. I am outside for longer periods than I would like to be at least twice a day. I catch the bus to work, and take it home. Anyone who has ever taken the bus in Chicago knows that they are supposed to run by every 8-10 minutes, but rarely do. In most cases, I am waiting 15-20 minutes for the bus. Normally this is not that big of a deal, but when it's cold, and windy there's a difference. And my bus stops don't have the nice little heat lamps like those spoiled brats that ride the train. Nope, all I have is a small roof over my head with three sides that have huge gaps in between. Those really don't even matter though, because if I'm not standing right out on the curb the bus will surely drive right past without thinking twice and I'll be stuck waiting another 20 minutes.There is a three block walk to work in the morning and another to the Pulaski stop. So figuring in this time also adds a good ten minutes to my time outside.

It has also been very cold at work lately. I have worn 2 and 3 layers at work the past two days and I am still cold. As a matter of fact, I am cold right now.

So for most of the latter part of my day, I have been wishing that I were holding a warm hot chocolate in my hands. How much more bearable would my walks and waits be if I had a steaming cup of hot chocolate in my hands. I am positive my entire body would be at least five degrees warmer with just this hot morsel to hold onto. And when does chocolate not sound good? It's always a sure way to loose the day's blues.

I never got my cup of hot chocolate. I was done with all my routines and activities. I was sitting on my couch in layers with a blanket over me, debating bed. Then this craving sets in, once again. To have a craving of this magnitude so many time throughout the day and do nothing to satisfy it would be a travesty. Surely my night would be filled with bad dreams, and I would of course awake in the morning on the wrong side of the bed all because this one desire was not satisfied.


So like I often have, I rely on the all wonder full White Hen Pantry, less than a block away from my place. Many furious cravings are put to rest by the little miracle on the corner. Surprisingly, the walk there was the least cold venture of the day. It may have been because I was wearing socks to my knees, thermal leggings, sweat pants, a long tank top, a turtle neck, and the warmest fleece pullover I own. Or maybe it was because I knew what lay ahead of me. A steamy, sweet treat I had been waiting for all day.

When I got there, I wasn't surprised to see a normal weeknight crew of three. I don't know their names, but I know their faces well, and they also know mine. These kind of acquaintances are what defines the meaning of a neighborhood. Faces you see not necessarily every day, but often enough to know how things are going. I make my way around the counter to where the serve yourself drinks are. (right in front of the ice cream freezer which is another popular craving in my life that is so often satisfied by this fine establishment) And then to my horror I see the hot cocoa machine exposed, laid wide open as if ther is some sort of surgical procedure taking place. Awesome. I almost can't believe it but then I remember that this is my life, and this shit happens a lot- so it probably is happening. I look frantically to the lady behind the counter as I am letting out an "oh no". She says "awwww, you wanted hot chocolate? I am just cleaning the machine!"

At this point I have pretty much already accepted that I am not getting hot chocolate. I start walking through the aisles, hoping for a swiss miss packet to jump out at me. Then I see the coffee, and powdered NesQuick which is close, but not the same. As I am walking back up the aisle I see the lady and she has recognized my face, and remembered so many time the unimpotant, but friendly conversations we have shared in the past five months or so. And suddenly, all of those conversations become important. She says "here, I'll close it up just for you" "I say no no no, really you don't have to do that. . ." Too late. She is already doing it. And she says, "I've been trying to clean it all day, but everyone wants it because it's so cold!". And I reach for a cup, and start to place it under the nozzle and she stops me and says 'oh no no, here you better double cup it." And she hands me a second. "We are all out of java jackets, and it will be too warm with just one." So I take it, fill my cup and thank her.

As I am so hapily walking upto the counter, I realize that I only have brought a small amount of change, and I don't know if it will be enough. Once again, my satisfaction is in jeprody. What if I don't have enough change? As I the man in front of me is gathering his purchase to leave, two more of my freindly White Hen neighbors look up to say hello. I am reaching into my pocket and we are all exchanging our normal hello's and how are you's when the man says to the girl in front of mr 'don't worry about it". And she says, "yeah it's okay". And I say "noo, are you sure?" the girl says"it's just a hot chocolate". And a war smile lights up my face and I say "thaaanks guys!" The man says, "Have a good night." I say "you too" and walk out the door with a very warm feeling. Not one I was neccessarily craving, but one I enjoyed. I can honestly say, I don't know if it was the hot chocolate that made my day ;-)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

HOME

Home was amazing, and refreshing as usual. My bitch of an ex-boss decided to tell me las minute two weeks ago that I didn't need to work at all last week. Not like I had planned around it or anything. I was not surprised. She ended our working relationship in the classic way she ends most things. With no consideration or appreciation for anyone who works for her. Not really any skin off my back though, I got to spend a whole week at home, which was great.

I went to 3 of my little sister's volleyball games. Wow did that bring back some memories. My little sister is so grown up. I regret not being able to be there for her. But in a way, I think it will build her character having to go through all the social changes and everything on her own. She is a good volleyball player. I hope she realizes that if she sticks with it, she will only continue to improve, because she is an athlete.

I got to visit my grandparents one day, and I helped them mow their lawn. I loved every second of it. I love their yard, their whole place. It was nice being outside on their yard for a few hours. I think they apreciated the help too. I love being able to help them out. If I lived closer , I would help them more too.


My parents got a new jack russell puppy. I was so cute! I t was just running around and going crazy the whole time. Those dogs are so hyper. My Zoe came home with some kind of rash. She keeps liking her dry skin, it kinda sucks. I was very worried about her on Monday.


Back to Chicago, to start my new job now. . .more later

Thursday, September 21, 2006

SICK!!!!!!

aspirations=
http://www.segura-inc.com/index.php

aspirations=
http://www.myspace.com/tassoart

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Geographical Characteristics?

What causes someone to make another person believe they are someone they aren't? This has been a reoccurring theme in my life since I have moved to Chicago. You can't tell me that everyone has this undying passion for acting, so that they absolutely can't resist performing all the time. A friend of mine said to me-in a place with so many aspirations, people want to believe they have aspired to become something that they actually haven't.

My boss at my last job managed to convince me for 8 months that she wasn't married. I am not that gullible. And who LIES about being married? Especially a woman? I mean I have known men who don't wear wedding rings so that they can hit on females. But I spent a lot of time both in and outside of work with this woman. She is a small business owner, so there is not much separation between work and personal life for her. And she told me on several occasions that she was not married. And then one day I met her husband. This is when I knew I did not want to work for this person anymore. If she lies about being married, what else is she lying about?

This is not the only occasion in the last year where I've come into close contact with someone, and gotten to a point where I felt I knew them well, only to find out they were not at all who I thought they were. Is this because I am from a small town? Is it because I am so used to knowing who people are, and they usually reamain to be the same for years and years? I wouldn't like to think so.

So when you meet a person, don't you want to just meet them, be in their presence, and enjoy their company without having to second guess them? This is something I may have taken for granted before, but not anyomre. Being able to meet someone and not have to constatnly question who they are is something I take great pride in doing. I have a great appreciation for embracing people's personalities, characters, and lives. How can I continue to enjoy embracing these things when people keep lying about them?

Is it a question of geography, or coincidence? Do more people in Chicago lie, or have I coincidentally had these experiences since moving here? If it is about geography, I am not interested in living here. I want to stay grounded, and genuine. That is who I like to be. How can I stay rooted, and grounded, when so many people I meet are so superficially fake? Enough with the liars. There is no place in my life for liars.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

It's already happening. . . Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
i can't believe it. trees are changing, and there is a day this week that will not be over 55 degrees. Fall is here.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Updates

My big news is that I got a new job! I am very excited. I will be working on the art department at a screen printing/embroidery shop. I will be dealing with clients on a regular basis which will be good. I will have about a 25 minute bus ride there, and walk just 3 short blocks. The place seems pretty laid back too which is good-no cubicles or three piece suits so I should fit in just fine. This comes at a very pivotal time because I was begining to think I was not meant to be here in Chicago. But it looks like I will be here for a while still. I like Chicago for now. I won't stay here forever, but it is very inspiring to live here where there is so much diversity and opportunity. I always picture myself settling down in the country though, in a more peacefull place-when I am more at peace with myself.

I will be making a much needed trip home next weekend. I haven't been there since Easter. I miss mi familia! I will try to squeeze as many visits in as I possibly can in one weekend. There will gefinitely be a stop at Grandma & Grandpa's. A place I hold so dear to my heart. When I think of my "happy place" it is there. I picture myself as a bare-foot 5 year-old running around their farm on a sunny day, hair blowing in the wind. Maybe climb an apple tree, chase the cats, sneak into the barn, or roll down the hill. Ahhh those memories are so sweet. And I mean NO ONE can top my Grandmothers cooking from scratch! She is THE BEST! And my sister Erin is pregnant and we are sooo excited!

Today while I was on MySpace, I found a very talented illustrator. This calibur of work is what I am aspiring to achieve one day. Have a looksee. . .