Haunted by Beautiful Spirits

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. "

-Anais Nin


Friends come and go. This is a fact of life. For anyone that has ever moved out of their home town, or across the country as I have. Probably a known fact even for those who have lived in the same place their entire life. I have many people who have remained my friends over time and distance. There are also many friends that I've had that I have lost touch with. And now looking back it makes me sad and I wonder where we lost touch. Are those friends that stand the test of time and distance the ones who are your true friends? And what about the ones you've lost touch with-were they never a true friend all along?

There are many people who were my friends, but now that we are not in touch I don't loose much sleep over them. I am not a person who has had a hard time letting go of things that need to be let go of. It is not unlike me to up and move to a new city at the drop of a hat. I adapt to new people and places very easily and almost never dwell on things in my past because I know I cannot change these things. I just learn the lesson that is set before me and move on. Once I've moved on I take with me what I've learned from any of life's daily dramas. March onward, move along. This is how it goes for me.

There are a small number of people in my life who I, at one point, considered to be a very good close friend. These people had a major impact on me and stand out as being important figures in my life. To have lost touch with these three people is something I have not been able to accept. It feels to me like these three people are ones that should still remain in my life.

One of these people I deliberately let go of, on purpose wanted them out of my life. And then a year later realized how wrong I was for doing so. I realized what an amazing effect they had on me and that I should not have shut myself off from them.Now that it is too late, there is not much I can do. We do have small here and there 'how are you doing's. I treated this person very badly when I decided I didn't want them in my life anymore. And I am fairly certain that I burned the bridge to our friendship.

The other two are people whom I did not choose to loose contact with. I feel more that they chose to lose contact with me and I never figured out why.


These three people show up in my dreams frequently.I hear a song and it's as if they are right next to me again-but they aren't. Their spirits haunt me. I remember our connection and how they affected my life, my very being. This feeling of being haunted by someone from your past-what does that mean? Is the universe trying to tell us something? Why do these people still linger in my thoughts and subconscious even though I haven't spoken to them in years? It is something that really bothers me. It is as if I know in my heart of hearts that these people should not have disappeared. I wonder if it is a mistake that we are no longer in contact. Maybe these people and I have unfinished business. Maybe there is some karma that still needs working out and since we have lost touch in this life working it out will be impossible. Will I see these certain people in another life since we did not get to resolve things in this one? I am not consciously trying to dwell on these people of my past. They are just haunting me. And that is exactly what it is, this eery creepy feeling that something has gone wrong. And there is a feeling of helplessness. There may have been a window of time to connect with them. But now that opportunity is lost. And with it any sense of control for me. This is a strange feeling that I am not overcoming easily.